How I became a teacher at my own school
So, this is a funny story. Well not funny, really, but, well, ya know . . . so when I woke up as a fully grown WOMAN on my twelfth birthday I had no where to go. I mean I SOOO wanted to go home to the pukey-pink bedroom I share with Abbie, my cousin. I was gonna' go there but Kat DEMANDED that I totally not return there because she said Aunt Patti would not GET that I was actually, really, me - er - Tabby - underneath. She thought maybe I'd get in trouble or something. Dunno. But anyway, Kat and Dolly sent me to school. Literally! I hid out in the gym for a few nights but then had to come up with a plan. On the night of the infamous front office 'break-in' I ran into (literally ran into!) Principal Peel and Ms. Wingfield and they let slip about Mrs. Drury leaving the school and her open teaching position! Then it clicked! I had been hiding out in the locker room and early one morning I overheard Mrs. Drury and Mrs. Bumble talking about ... something super weird.
“I do love him so,” Ms. Drury had said, barely able to control the excitement in her voice. “And he says he doesn’t mind that I have no carnival experience. He says he’ll teach me.” “Is the hair all over his body,” Mrs. Bumble had asked, “or just on his face?” “Oh, no,” Ms. Drury cooed, “it covers his whole body. That’s why he has his own booth. The Singing Sasquatch, they call him. He sings covers of famous rock songs.” “Who will take over your classes?” Mrs. Bumble inquired. “Principal Peel says he’ll advertise for my replacement this week,” Ms. Drury had concluded. “I’ll miss the kids, but when true love calls, we have to follow.”
So, that was it - I heard about Mrs. Drury leaving, ran into Principal Peel during the break-in and within a week Kat had helped me forge the creds I needed and I started teaching English to my former classmates! My first day was a bit of a mess, actually. I, like, completely froze up like Elsa until I saw Kat and Tabby in the back of the class holding up a sign that read, "Introduce yourself!"
And that was it . . . I began my new life as the English teacher at ALLG. And yeah, I'm pretty good at it and all, but underneath, all I really want is to go home.
Your Tabby (aka Ms. Mulligan)
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